Failed Date Story Pillows

Another Failed Geek Pickup Line

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

'It's not you, Richard. It's your ring tone.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

'You write books, you say!'

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

"You're the first guy I've met who really listens and blah, blah, blah..."

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

Gimme a hot chocolate. On the rocks. Straight. Lady troubles? And how. Old Mr. Mort told me if I wanted to appeal to the ladies, I should watch some old black and white movies and do what those guys do. So I started jogging downstairs sideways like Cary Grant. I said "see!" after every sentence like James Cagney. I ran in place and yelled "whoop-whoop-whoop!" like Curly. All the girls loved it. But now I have four playdates scheduled at the same time! Not at all where I thought that was going.

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

I'm an investor. My star sign is predator.

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"I miss the days when people were ashamed to admit they met online."

"I'll be honest, Raymond. I really don't give a damn about the wetlands."

"Besides it having no atmosphere, this restaurant seems to have a very bad attitude."

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."