Failed Date Story Pillows

Another Failed Geek Pickup Line

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

'It's not you, Richard. It's your ring tone.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

'You write books, you say!'

'Some have a love life - I have a 'can't-stand-for-the-man-to-be-right' life.'

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"You're the first guy I've met who really listens and blah, blah, blah..."

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"I miss the days when people were ashamed to admit they met online."

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

I'm an investor. My star sign is predator.

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

"I'll be honest, Raymond. I really don't give a damn about the wetlands."

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

"Besides it having no atmosphere, this restaurant seems to have a very bad attitude."

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."