Awkward Date Stories Pillows

Earlier that day. Cheapskate Ernie bought discounted love potion 8.

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"Here's your... neti pot... to share..."

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

Nethead strip: Dates

The Adventures of Morton

'But enough about my interiority, how about you?'

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

'This is the last time I'm going fishing with you, Harold!'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"You lead such an interesting life. I've never been called to testify before a Congressional Banking Committee."

I'm an investor. My star sign is predator.

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'