Awkward Date Night Survivor Pillows

"But enough about you..."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

Nethead strip: Dates

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."