Awkward Date Night Survivor Pillows

"But enough about you..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"This is the last time I let anyone fix me up with a blind date!"

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

Nethead strip: Dates

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.