Awkward Dinner Survivor Pillows

"Now remember: My dad’s obsessed with the weather and will hit on you, and my mother thinks you’re a gold digger."

"You don't have to eat mother's meat loaf. . . but don't give it to the dog. Last time he was sick for a week!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"The Mashed Potato Casserole with Creamed Spinach, Baked Egg and Garlic is half price tonight, sir. It's horrible."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

'Have you noticed it, too?'

'No, everything is not all right. My date ran out without leaving money to pay the bill!'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"As my late husband, here, used to say...."

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

'I'm running a little late -- could you help me fold the napkins?'

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

'Are you feeling as angry, helpless, bloated and turned on as I am?'

Murphy's Slaw.

"I'm sure you're a nice man, but I'm not interested in hearing your plan for a flat tax."

"Now I remember why we don't visit the Ferguson's more often!"