Awkward Dinner Survivor Gifts

"Now remember: My dad’s obsessed with the weather and will hit on you, and my mother thinks you’re a gold digger."

"You don't have to eat mother's meat loaf. . . but don't give it to the dog. Last time he was sick for a week!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"The Mashed Potato Casserole with Creamed Spinach, Baked Egg and Garlic is half price tonight, sir. It's horrible."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

'Have you noticed it, too?'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"As my late husband, here, used to say...."

'We're very on-the-hoof, of the moment kind of people - would it be possible to dine off Styrofoam?'

'No, everything is not all right. My date ran out without leaving money to pay the bill!'

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

Friends began to feel that Gina was only dating Howard as a father figure.

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

"Now I remember why we don't visit the Ferguson's more often!"

"I hear 'mysterious' when you call me creepy."

'Are you feeling as angry, helpless, bloated and turned on as I am?'

'I'm running a little late -- could you help me fold the napkins?'

'This is a bit awkward, but we'll have the chicken.'