Dinner Party Survivor Gifts

'Honestly. I can't take you anywhere!'

'First time out together since the panic stations of you getting a chicken bone stuck in your throat!'

"Asking them to stay for dinner was a great idea. I didn't think they'd ever go."

"Now I remember why we don't visit the Ferguson's more often!"

"I heard dad say that he gives his thanks at the end when everybody finally goes home. . ."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Rump roast?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"Gesundheit!"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."