Awkward Diners Pillows

'This is a bit awkward, but we'll have the chicken.'

Friends began to feel that Gina was only dating Howard as a father figure.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

Sushi Train Spotters

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'll have the chef."

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

I recommend the ketchup.

'If it has a 'G' next to it, it'll give you a little gas; a 'B' will cause some belching; 'N' may create a bit of nausea...'

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

"As my late husband, here, used to say...."

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

I told you not to order the house dressing. Hurg.

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).