Awkward Date Moments Pillows

"Your look of total bewilderment - does it run in the family?"

Duncan had no choice but to fake an orgasm with Dorothy's Doberman!

Speed Dating for Turtles

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

"Here's your... neti pot... to share..."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

Nethead strip: Dates

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

'This is the last time I'm going fishing with you, Harold!'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'