Failed Chef T-Shirts

Sushi Spinoffs

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Come dine with me!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

Counting ribs

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Desert Island Meals.

Diner.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"States of tofu"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."