Failed Chef Gifts

Sushi Spinoffs

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"States of tofu"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

Diner.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.