Stranded Chef Gifts

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Turkey Autopsy

Lockdown casserole

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"More helium."

She found baking helped enormously.

Covid-19 Caution

Stay at home food pyramid

"Do you want brownies or cookies or banana bread or apple pie or peanut brittle or chocolate muffins or carrot cake?"

"Dinner looks delicious."

"Thanks for the starter!"

"She can't take any constructive criticism."

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

'I'm making pot pie.'

'Hot Lunch.'

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

Man stranded on island selling coconuts. Advertises same location 14 years.

"Made a king-sized portion of my Nana's famous cheese ball with toast points..."

"Yes. That was great. . . but the real miracle is how my mom can feed us for over a week on Thanksgiving leftovers!"

Sushi Spinoffs

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

'Oh, she's not a witch or anything -- she just served leftover turkey five days in a row.'

'You've done it AGAIN,Doris- you've bought CAT food!!'

"This year WE EAT LIKE WOLVES."

Some especially annoying types of packaging.