Factory Satire Fan Gifts

Accident in the Chicken Factory

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"It's okay to be ambitious but do you dare to pee on my tree, Jackson!"

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'To cut back on traveling expenses, we're going to start sending you out as an e-mail attachment.'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

'He insists on being a part of the corporate pipeline.'

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"Of course I believe in diversity. Harlan, here, is an endangered species."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

'Oh, oh! Here comes the queen! Look busy!'

"My God! There goes middle management."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'