Fabric Care Gifts

'Whoever they were, they had an advanced knowledge of fabric care.'

I quilt therefore I am

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

Fumes from furniture

King Madras

Somewhere in France: The Fabric of Daily French Life Is On Display

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'It's 50 Rayon, 50 wool and 30 deposit.'

'This caught my eye; Johann Sebastian needs new study curtains - and he does like a good pattern.'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

Rat - Study on effect of synthetic fabrics.

Outlaw Quilting Bees

'That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains.'

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

"Ooops....I guess this one failed."

Favorite Selections from 800,000 Things To Do With a Scarf

'It's the latest weave - comes off in the hand.'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

"That's the material I want for our new lounge curtains."

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"