Carpet Care Gifts

"Lovely new carpet Doris - and with scotch-guard too."

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Shampoo.

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Not you. Your hair.

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"I'm here for the hair."

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

'Next!'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Hair Traffic control.

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

Square Cut

Pest Control

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Adult Barbershop

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, what is up with my hair?!"

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"