F1 Fanatic Gifts

Pit crew fix a tire swing

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

'I had to shoot him, he was cheering for Vettel throughout the whole race.'

'They must practice their pit stops for hours to get it as badly wrong as that.'

The word gets out trains are using F1 technology to improve reliability.

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"I need to tinkle."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

If nobody had invented graphics

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Football

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

'Simply put.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Bob's Driving School.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"