Eyepatch Enthusiast Pillows

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

Optician and the PI.

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Can't read 'SLOW'.

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

Do' you have the time?'

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

"Less overcoat, lower prices."

Dickens' Counterfeit Rolex.

Childrens Eye Test

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

'This watch goes up to fifty-nine seconds a minute!'

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

'I've had enough of these everlasting arguments - I say you're late!'

'I've ruined so many watches: Only buy waterproff watches, not water-resistant watches,,,'

"I wouldn’t say ‘fat,’ per se, but it isn’t particularly slimming."

"Yes, I really love my new job at the ophthalmology clinic, except for feeling a little... creeped out."

"I'll miss you, Grandpa."