Eyebrow Expert Pillows

'Why is it women spend hours plucking their eyebrows...then spend hours penciling them back in again!'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

Time to trim the eyebrows!

Bird watching in Bolivia

"Since you're a lawyer, it will be a bar exam."

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

In and out trays for ironing.

Have you been undressing me with your eyes? It's okay, I'm a doctor

Carl, his mustache, Jerald, and his eyebrows, Leonard and Reggie.

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

"Have you read the 'head lines?"

"You have tiny websites burned onto your retinas!"

"I was at a party and got some avocado dip in my eye..."

"I wish you'd have made your appointment a little sooner."

'Why is it you spend hours plucking out your eyebrows...Then you draw them back in again

'In tough negotiations I've found a bit of eyeliner really distracts them!'

'After a close examination I think I know why Tabatha keeps wandering onto busy roads.'

'I'm looking as young as 20 years ago? Honey, promise me not to see an eye specialist for the next 20 years!'

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

'About this new eye test card you're designing.'

I've had allergies all my life. How about you, Randy? Never, little buddy. HOJ. A speck of pollen once tried to enter my left nostril but was swiftly humbled by my natural defenses. I come from a long line of Randies who were gifted with nose hairs that have the tensile strength of iron and the stopping-power of barbed wire. Word quickly spread from pollen to pollen, and now they never even dare. If Obamacare covers nose-hair transplants, would you be willing ... ?

'Check out the new guy. He's totally got those, don't-hate-me-just-because-I-might-be-a-vampire eyebrows.'

"November 15, 2063 – leonard's eyebrows finally achieve singularity.

Eyebrow Fashion Tips

You should have come in sooner.