Eyebrow Connoisseur Pillows

Carl, his mustache, Jerald, and his eyebrows, Leonard and Reggie.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Can you keep a secret?"

The latest in Eyewear.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

Time to trim the eyebrows!

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

A Woman's Conquests.

'Botox so soon, Master?'

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

'Doctor, I asked for BOTOX injections, not BUTTOCKS injections.'

Jutting Protuberances in just 10 Days!

A grave with an array of beauty products

New You Plastic Surgery. That's right, doctor, I gave her the bill and her nose went right out of joint again.

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."