Eyebrow Connoisseur T-Shirts

Carl, his mustache, Jerald, and his eyebrows, Leonard and Reggie.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

Imagine

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Can you keep a secret?"

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

The latest in Eyewear.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

'Botox so soon, Master?'

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

Time to trim the eyebrows!

A Woman's Conquests.

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

Corn Aliens

Jutting Protuberances in just 10 Days!

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."