Eyebrow Admirers T-Shirts

'Check out the new guy. He's totally got those, don't-hate-me-just-because-I-might-be-a-vampire eyebrows.'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

Hot Tub Frosty

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Swan in a trenchcoat.

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

'I hate surprises!'

Vodka

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

'I used to equate life and art -- then I married Art.'

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

Time to trim the eyebrows!

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

"Sorry I'm late. I took the stairs."

'I hope this surprise view is worth the climb!'

Aliens watch movie featuring human invaders.

"Your friend isn't in here, he's letting me AirBnB his shell."

"....At least we don't have to put quarters in this hot tub."

'I'm so pleased! She used to have this terrible phobia about men with beards.'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

Joe's Tavern: Perfect Attendance

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

I won't share credit for our invention of a truth serum, because I've always hated you and your homely family.

'This? It's carry-on luggage in that it carries ME on and I can fit in the overhead bin.'

"You think you have it bad? I look like this and I don't know anything about technology."

'Let me not answer your question this way...'

"This won best award show last year."

Carl, his mustache, Jerald, and his eyebrows, Leonard and Reggie.

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

He's got a serene disposition, a white beard and now he's got Patagonia

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

"I think we're in for a long winter."