Extreme Vino Enthusiast Gifts

White Wine Rafting.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Redhead

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

A very fine vintage

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Seems it all started at a wine-tasting seminar m'lud, nobody brought a bucket.'

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

Drinking wine has never been a spectator sport.

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

"My lines have become blurred, I can't remember whether I'm drinking the medicinal or the recreational wine."

'As a matter of fact, I do prefer red wine to white. How did you ever guess?'

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"What a day! A brilliant sun, an azure sky, the air like vintage wine! By George, I've half a mind to do a bit of profit taking!"

Joe's Bar - We sell no wine before it's opening time!