Extreme Vino Enthusiast Gifts

White Wine Rafting.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Redhead

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

A very fine vintage

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'Seems it all started at a wine-tasting seminar m'lud, nobody brought a bucket.'

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

Drinking wine has never been a spectator sport.

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

'As a matter of fact, I do prefer red wine to white. How did you ever guess?'

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"What a day! A brilliant sun, an azure sky, the air like vintage wine! By George, I've half a mind to do a bit of profit taking!"

Joe's Bar - We sell no wine before it's opening time!