Wine Tasting Fanatic Gifts

A Good Ordinary Claret

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Bubbly

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.