Wine Tasting Fanatic Gifts

A Good Ordinary Claret

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Wine Lady

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Bubbly

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."