Extreme Storyteller Gifts

War reporter

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

J. R. R. Tolkien

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

The Adventures of God

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

Sisyphus visits Stowe

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Santa's Helpers

My Spam Sketchbook

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."