Overdramatic Storyteller Gifts

"I fell off a 30-foot ladder."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

J. R. R. Tolkien

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Sisyphus visits Stowe

Kirsten Johnson

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

My Spam Sketchbook

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

Santa's Helpers

Baby Bear.

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

Reading

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