Extreme Pet Owner Gifts

"Heel! No! Stop! Stay! Have mercy!!"

Seagiraffes

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Posh man taking his dog clay pigeon shooting

"Give us a minute, honey."

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"He was a sea rescue."

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

Art Pets

A serpent is entering and exiting cloth in an interesting fashion.

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"What have you done with the doctor?"

'You're spoiling that dog!'

Timmys Pet Ostrich

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

"You live very near the edge, don't you"

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.