Extreme Pet Owner Gifts

"Heel! No! Stop! Stay! Have mercy!!"

Seagiraffes

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Posh man taking his dog clay pigeon shooting

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Give us a minute, honey."

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

"What have you done with the doctor?"

'Yes I can talk, can you fly?'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

A serpent is entering and exiting cloth in an interesting fashion.

Art Pets

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"He was a sea rescue."

'You're spoiling that dog!'

Timmys Pet Ostrich

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

"You live very near the edge, don't you"

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.

"Why can't you just hang out the window like all the other dogs!?"