Extinction Fitness Fighter Gifts

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

Spider Press-Ups

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

"Surprising, I've never seen a case of repetitive strain injury of the buttock's beffore."

'Your 'guns' are very impressive Norman,but not at work.'

Roger managed to climb higher than any person had ever climbed before, thanks to sponsorship by Alu-Tech Aluminium Ladders.

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"Damn speed hump!"

Bio-obsolescence

Tangled facing dog...

'We are the last Dodos on the planet, so I've put all of our eggs safely into this basket...'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

The Last Mosquito

The sudden extinction of prehistoric clowns explained.

"Wait till you hear this one! This little fella is calling himself a mammal and he reckons one day they're going to dominate the Earth!"

Employers: Workers, toil until death!

"That's enough exercise for one day."

'Of course, in the long term we'll all be extinct.'

'It's the paperwork you need to fill out to show that we're focussing on patients needs.'

"Think about it: State-of-the-art tar preservation! And then, when we eventually find a cure for this extinction thing, there YOU are! On the ground floor!"

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."