Extermination Enthusiast Gifts

Insecticide.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

Flies up the ante!

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

Drone Spray

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"These door hinges squeak."

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

Superintendent

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"