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Insecticide.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Flies up the ante!

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

Superintendent

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"These door hinges squeak."