Ethical Exterminator Gifts

"This stuff is non-toxic and environmentally friendly, though it does tend to attract bugs."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"We have a favor to ask."

Flies up the ante!

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Drone Spray

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"These door hinges squeak."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

William Tell Executions.

Superintendent