Exterminator Humorist Gifts

Dalek Pest Control

Zombie standup

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

Atomic Bear: Part 21

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

The world's first exploding cricket box...

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Flies up the ante!

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

'How long did you try before calling?'

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Superintendent

"These door hinges squeak."

Drone Spray