Explorer Of The Self Gifts

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

So You've Cloned Yourself

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

"Adolescencia"

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

"Look, I still fit into the fitted sheet I wore when we met."

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

Frida Kahlo

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

'Does my bum look big in this?'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'I just feel so used all the time.'

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"You need to get in touch with your inner tadpole."

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"

'Thank you for gently guiding me toward insight.'

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

After a lifetime of searching, Leonard finds himself.

Well there's something you don't see every day...

"So tell me - what makes you think you're a 'monster'?"

"Well, Mr. Trouble, it's likely your low self esteem is linked to your given name."

"I ask you doctor, would any normal person wear this hat?"