Self-explorers Gifts

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"So the next time you see the girl you wish to impress, just be yourself. Fulfillment comes when you know who you truly are and where you want to go in life. Thanks for calling Tia Carmen's psychic hotline!"

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

So You've Cloned Yourself

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

The Desert Island Package

'I'm trying to get my competence and my confidence in the same place.'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"Adolescencia"

Bob suddenly felt uncertain about the journey which lay ahead.

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Man looking down long telescope at himself.

'I'm prescribing a patch to help you get over your inhibitions. Put it over your eye and pretend you're a pirate!'

'I just feel so used all the time.'

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"...And, what might 'the road' represent?"

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

"I get the feeling you're still keeping a lot of yourself inside."

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

"You need to get in touch with your inner tadpole."

"I'm desperate to have an inner child of my own."

Oh my goodness, you're right - I've only been hiding from myself!