Self-exploration Enthusiast Gifts

"It's interesting -- with each conviction I learn a little more about myself."

'These feelings of self-loathing that you're experiencing are, at least in your case, quite understandable.'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

"What if they're right -- what if I do suck?"

'I'm not happy. Find out what's missing with my life.'

'Actually, what makes you think I suffer from insufficiency syndrome?'

A swan?! Let's face it - I am just an ugly duckling!

Autobiographer holds up a mirror to his face.

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

So You've Cloned Yourself

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"Of course I discovered America... My marketing team said so."

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

Rainbow/Horizon

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

On board the MS Hepatology

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"Adolescencia"

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

'I'm serious. I really believe the world is round.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'