Self-explorer Gifts

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

After a lifetime of searching, Leonard finds himself.

'And then one fine day, self hears self talking to self about self, and all hell breaks loose.'

"Feeling like a skinny person living in a fat person's body is actually quite normal."

"I'm trying to be myself and you're not helping."

'Creating an idealized version of yourself can be very therapeutic role playing...or you can do what I do and just lie a lot on Facebook.'

'I want more 'yabba-dabba-doo' and less 'sufferin' succotash.''

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

'Very soon you won't have the problem of knowing who you are and trying to find yourself...'

'I just feel so used all the time.'

'Being yourself is not helping this marriage, Jack.'

'Is your inner-self always out to lunch?'

'I was trying to get in touch with my feminine side, Doctor, and I think I've done myself an injury.'

"Adolescencia"

"I'd like to file a report. I'm trying to find myself."

'It's nothing to be ashamed of -- Why shouldn't you have low self-esteem?'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Psychiatry. Why go on a voyage of self-discovery when I can just Google myself?

I guess I knew I was different early on, when my 98 siblings scrambled to the sea and I grabbed a cab to the city.

"Ugh, sometimes I don’t even recognize myself anymore." "You’re still you on the inside, Phil!" "It’s Bob."

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"I always felt as if the child inside me had to be accompanied by an adult."

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

So You've Cloned Yourself

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

'I'm trying to get my competence and my confidence in the same place.'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

"Marriage and relationships?...That would be under 'Arts and Science'!"

Psychology Clinic. Most potent example of solipsism I've ever seen --- he follows himself on Twitter.

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.