Expense Detective Gifts

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'Thank you for you car expense claim . . .why are you wearing bicycle clips?'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

IRS Audit Section

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Euro Bomb

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

Financial Corruption

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."