Budget Detective Gifts

Missing Person - What Happened to Consumer Confidence?

Magic Beans

'Utilities are 20.00 per month and rent is 60.00 per month? How old is your math book?'

Jean-Claude Juncker

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

IRS Audit Section

Unusual Offers

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

Euro Bomb

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield