Frugal Detective Gifts

'Yes, it is a one way mirror... but a cheap one.'

A boy acting suspiciously

$1: Family Secrets

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"There's more inside."

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'Crisis'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

Unusual Offers

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

IRS Audit Section

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

Financial Corruption

'But what do you sell?'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

"We need to discuss your expense account."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."