Discount Detective Gifts

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

Proud to be a senior citizen and Just give me my damn discount T-Shirts.

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"I can recommend the coho salmon in a wine-dill sauce, with a suggested retail price of twenty-four ninety-five. However, you may have it for only eighteen ninety-five if you order now."

"Paying full price again? Won't you ever admit you're sixty plus?"

'But what do you sell?'

'I knew there was a catch to this senior citizen discount.'

'Do you offer a sidekick discount?'

'Is there any special deals since we have lent you guys so much money.'

Unusual Offers

Lunch £9 - Pensioners £7.

Sale

"Try to get sick. I bought get-well cards at 50% off!"

Book: Reduced - Slightly Damaged

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Sale.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Customer Convention

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Micro and Macro Department,