Cost Detective Gifts

"Tell me about your travel extras."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Unusual Offers

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'But what do you sell?'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

"Parts and labor?"

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

"...so if my maths serves me right, if I buy four of these it won't cost you anything"

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."

Researchers find proof that the legendary lead foot exists.

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

Bakery. Cakes $6.66. Upside Down Cakes $9.99.

I'm glad Twig's injuries aren't serious. Even so, her emergency room visit was $972. The good news is we've got health care. There's bad news. The deductible is $1,500. That's no so bad. One more accident and we can collect! Teddy! Got a job for you!

Gas price rollercoaster.

US economy-spend or save?

Things of the past...

"Freddy, take this back and add it up again. I was your maths teacher, remember."

"The price of oil is dropping...so...why has your gas gone up?!"

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

"Now he can say he ran it by legal."

'This isn't a flow chart. It's our fee structure!'

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."