Cost Detective Mugs

"Tell me about your travel extras."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

Unusual Offers

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'But what do you sell?'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

"Parts and labor?"

"...so if my maths serves me right, if I buy four of these it won't cost you anything"

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

Researchers find proof that the legendary lead foot exists.

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Freddy, take this back and add it up again. I was your maths teacher, remember."

Things of the past...

"If you want extra virgin oil on the salad that's a £5 supplement...."

US economy-spend or save?

Gas price rollercoaster.

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

"The price of oil is dropping...so...why has your gas gone up?!"

"Now he can say he ran it by legal."

'This isn't a flow chart. It's our fee structure!'

Stealth Taxman

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."