Budget Detective Pillows

Missing Person - What Happened to Consumer Confidence?

Magic Beans

'Utilities are 20.00 per month and rent is 60.00 per month? How old is your math book?'

Jean-Claude Juncker

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

Unusual Offers

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

IRS Audit Section

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Euro Bomb

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

R. Jones: Investment Advisor - Out Chasing Yield