Price Detective Pillows

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

'Attention shoppers, all tagged items in aisle 4 will be reasonably priced for the next 20 minutes.'

"How much for a poster?"

Shrinkflation

The Guilty Conscious of Salesmen

'Bargain basement sale ... Everything's down but the prices.'

'What a bargain. A normal 60p tin of beans reduced from 85p to 70p.'

Gas price rollercoaster.

'You wouldn't catch ME stooping to bottom shelf brands!'

"This tastes the same...why the different price?"

Increase in food prices

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Sale.

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

Customer Convention

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

'If nobody has any money, where did it all go?'

Unusual Offers

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

The United States' economy deflating.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."