Expense Calculator Gifts

Excess Baggage: Sometimes, your plane ticket is the least expensive part of the trip.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

'Wow, my own desk!'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

Business Meeting

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn.

'Good news I'm ten percent under budget.'

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

Number 2 in a series of unlikely events: "There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred quid."

"I've been working on the household budget."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

Everything became too freaking expensive today.

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"Boy, talk about inflation! When I was a little kid, that only cost $2.50!"

"We will indeed be facing numerous enraged customers."

Insurance PremiumsGrowth Chart,

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

Duel Fuel?

'I guess I should have paid the foundation bill.'

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

"Your father suffers from 'Notip Arthritis'. It's characterized by a stiffening of the waitress."

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'