Loan Calculator Gifts

'That meter? It tells you how fast your interest charge is adding up.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

Business Meeting

loan

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

"We've got borrower's remorse."

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

"If you had $1,000, and I asked you for a loan of $23.47, what percent of your original money would you left?"

'What do you mean you've done more for me than my mother did?'

'We're going to need a bit more than comfortably off, I'm afraid.'

What are the chances?

It's a joint loan, but don't tell my husband.

'Don't forget to say 'pretty please'.'

'Cheer up. Mr. Thomas, it's only until the bail out is over!'

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

Excess Baggage: Sometimes, your plane ticket is the least expensive part of the trip.

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

'Because it's there.' (asking for a loan at huge vault)

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

Bank loan applicant

'We strongly recommend you buy the service plan.'