Loan Application Gifts

"As part of the bank's form reduction policy, you wont' have to fill out any additional forms. Your loan application has not been approved."

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

Confidential Credit Company: 'No!'

"I applied there six months ago, and I'm still waiting for an answer."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

loan

I have a dream.

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Farmer's credit.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Ready?!'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

"How much do you need?"

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"We've got borrower's remorse."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

I'm buying last year's car today with next year's money.

'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'

"Do you have any other form of collateral?"

"You've heard of 'The Bank that likes to say 'YES''. . . well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."