Loans Gifts

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

"A high five isn't binding Sir. You still have to sign a loan agreement."

'Your credit score is a bit low but we can still offer you a loan. Do you have a problem being fitted for an electronic ankle cuff.'

'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'

'After test driving the car we feel its important you know how the finance feels.'

'Because it's there.' (asking for a loan at huge vault)

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'It's just as the sign says, you've got the loan for 24 hours.'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

Bank loan applicant

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

'I'm George Neal. I'll be masterminding your loan.'

'Yes, you're very qualified for a loan, Mr. Stikes, but what on earth made you think you would get one?'

"I didn't say I wanted to be alone, I said I wanted a loan!"

"We do like to say yes, but we love to say no."

"We have the perfect plan for you. It's the mortgaged to the eyeballs plan."

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

'I intend to make a million. But I need to first borrow a million.'

'Cheer up. Mr. Thomas, it's only until the bail out is over!'

"You have a serious pre-existing condition...your credit score."

"Excellent. Now that you've proved to me that you don't really need the loan, I'll be happy to approve it."

'Don't forget to say 'pretty please'.'

It's a joint loan, but don't tell my husband.

'What do you mean you've done more for me than my mother did?'

'That meter? It tells you how fast your interest charge is adding up.'

'Remember me? Two weeks ago you gave me a loan for $25,000...I've been having a ball and I'd like to do it again!'

'We're going to need a bit more than comfortably off, I'm afraid.'

'Maybe we better airbrush this credit report before applying for a loan.'

"We've got borrower's remorse."

'Well, I've just had a look at your loan application form, so if you'll just bear with me for a second, while I press this panic button.'

Loan company has express lane for transactions of $900 or less.

A very private money lender