Applying For A Business Loan Gifts

"Simplified application form? This IS the simplified application form..."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"

I have a dream.

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

Farmer's credit.

'Ready?!'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

"How much do you need?"

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

"We've got borrower's remorse."

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

I'm buying last year's car today with next year's money.

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'