Seeking Business Funding Gifts

"Gone fishing for a small-business loan"

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Pinara fund

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

'Quick...follow that rainbow.'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

Torrent of venture capital.

"Someday my grant will come."

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

"An appointment is required except for Wednesday afternoons, when he suffers fools gladly."

'I don't want your wallet. I want venture capital.'

'You want the 'loan officer.' Next door down.'

"We need a brownfield site."

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Formula for the new product?" "No, that's our grant going down the drain!"

Made Possible By A Grant...

'My idea is to beg you to give me some money.'

'Oh. Our research grant has finally come through.'

'That's the first, and only dollar earned by Fred.'

"So. . . how did our first-stage financing go today?"

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'