Seeking A Grant Gifts

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

"Lost My Grant - Please Help!"

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"

"When we said to be creative with your grant proposal presentation, this is not what was meant."

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

"Someday my grant will come."

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

"I need this grant to start my chicken farm."

'You want the 'loan officer.' Next door down.'

'Great news, Gran'ma! I got a grant to study wolves in your woods!'

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

'Oh. Our research grant has finally come through.'

Research grant for nerve toxin.

"His grant application was accepted."

'Bad news. . . Things are too good to get any grant money.'

"I may be a mere grant applicant now, but I assure you, in my past life, I was a prominent philanthropist."

Credit and Farmers

"The shock of an unsolicited grant was just too much."

"Gone fishing for a small-business loan"

'It's true I'm homeless...that's why I want the loan.'

The bastard only funded my Kickstarter at the T-shirt level."

"Why can't you give me a student loan? I'm a student."