Funding Gifts

"This is Doctor Bagshaw, discoverer of the infinitely expanding research grant."

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

'Of course, the really big money is in junk science.'

Scientific Sponsors

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

Made Possible By A Grant...

'Eureka! -- I've discovered a formula that will make congressmen vote for Federal grants!'

"Formula for the new product?" "No, that's our grant going down the drain!"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"So, thought you could use your mutated rate to intimidate me into increasing your funding, eh? Well, think again, bucko!"

"Our funding has gone into a black hole."

Pinara fund

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'That's it?!...That's your business model?!?..'

'Oh. Our research grant has finally come through.'

Angel investor.

'Senators! Come quick!'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

This program was made possible by a grant from someone who, on second thought, would rather not admit it.

Dummy. Now we have to apply for another grant.

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Our war is against cancer."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Pearly King and Queen

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Well, we got the grant."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'